What You Left Behind
by Blase Moon
Summary: There's nothing left to feel but emptiness when the person you love is gone. SasuNaru. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Each time I think back, I wonder if you're thinking about me too.

I'm thinking about you as I walk along the bustling streets of the village, ignoring the presence of everybody and not bothering to make any eye contact.

I should've left this place a long time ago, but for some reason I feel bound to remain. Maybe it's because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone. Even though it's been years since you left me and I've felt so utterly alone that it was a long time before I could even hold a conversation with somebody.

I turn the corner and enter the small grocery store that was one of the only places you never set foot in all of Konoha. I found out a long time ago that being in places holding too much of your memory was not good for my sanity. Sure, before I had returned to the village people had already thought I'd lost hold of the few ounces of sanity remaining in me, but that wasn't true. I had been lost; so utterly so that it had taken all of your love and friendship to bring me back here.

It had taken even more for you to convince me that I actually belonged. The majority of the reason I had even come back to Konoha was because I loved you and I wanted you to be happy. I would've followed you anywhere, but my pride had prevented me from ever admitting such a deep emotional attachment to you.

During that period in my life all I had been able to see was the darkness, but after certain events I had come to realize that you were the resonating light that was going to lead me out of the tunnel. Your unwavering determination captivated me, and your voice chased away what I had deemed as sanity during that time.

But now that you left me behind, I'm stuck with the life you left me here.

I am taking my time picking out the vegetables I need for the week, making sure that they're ripe and unblemished.

"Ah, hi Sasuke-kun, what a coincidence that we meet here," a female voice greets from my right.

I raise my head to find Sakura standing there, a basket filled with an assortment of foods hanging on the crook of her elbow. She seems genuinely happy to see me, an unsure, but warm smile settling in her features.

Not even the old me would've smiled back at her, or anyone else for that matter, but I haven't made such a gesture since the last time I saw you. I am too broken, even though at times I find myself actually wishing that the pain of losing you would just fade away completely and allow me to live again. But there's just too much that time cannot erase, and the pain is still so real that every night it comes back to hit me full-force, the effects on both my mind and body crippling.

I nod my head at her and mumble a,"Hn."

She doesn't get offended or even start asking me any irksome questions; she just smiles at me again, her gaze turning reassuring. Sakura knows more than most how much your departure impacted me. And she knows to never expect much more than what I've just given her in terms of pleasant small talk.

"It's really nice to see you going out and about. I'm glad you're letting yourself get some sunlight. I just grabbed the last thing on my grocery list and my parents are expecting me, so I should really get going," Sakura says, slightly bowing her head at me and pointing at the store's exit as she speaks.

"Okay. Bye Sakura," I say without thinking, surprising myself even as the words are still leaving my mouth.

"Y-Yeah, see you later Sasuke-kun," she waves, her eyes going wide and her voice thick with bewilderment.

I don't blame her though. Rare is the time that I ever say anything to her, much less be polite.

As she leaves she looks back at me one final time, and I can't tell whether her expression is relieved, happy, or concerned. Either way, I can't really bring myself to care. We had been on friendly terms again when I had returned to the village with you years ago, but I had severed any and all emotional ties with people after you left. I couldn't open myself and become susceptible to the kind of pain that you brought me again. Of course, I can never love somebody the way I still love you to this day, but harm is harm, no matter how small. And I'm not sure that my worn-out soul can take even the most diminutive addition to my pool of hurt.

I hurry with the rest of the groceries and walk briskly back home. I still live in the tiny one-room apartment that was once yours. This is the one thing that even Sakura and Kakashi were unable to understand about me after you left. Of all the places in the village this should've been the last place I ever wanted to return to because it was the place that was the most branded with your presence. But it is actually the place that comforts me the most. Or maybe it's because some sick, twisted part of my brain is just masochistic like that.

I have not changed anything about this place since your departure. Your scent still lingers in the walls, the clothes you left behind, and the old worn-out couch that sits in front of your TV. But the bed we used to share has the strongest scent of them all. Most likely it's because of all the things we used to on it. After all, sex was our favorite thing to do after coming back from a mission, and we went on _alot_ of missions.

But it's too painful to reminisce about those happier times, and even now as these thoughts cross my mind my heart clenches painfully and my whole body is shaken by a sudden surge of electricity, immediately causing my knees to give out. I land none-to-gently on the wooden floor and make no move to pick myself up again.

My chakra tends to fluctuate quite uncontrollably at moments like this, and I can't stop the suddenly bursts of lightning that ricochet down my body. I don't want them to stop anyhow. At least then not all of my pain is completely internal, and unlike the pain in my chest, I get to feel relief after it's gone.

When it stops a few minutes later I stand up again rather sluggishly, just then realizing how tired I really am. Lately the only thing that can put me to sleep is the single letter you left behind, so I go inside our room and take it carefully out of its drawer. Whenever I do manage to fall asleep though, your face haunts my once pleasant dreams, and my eventual waking up to even more unbearable pain is inevitable.

My fingers graze across the face of the crisp white envelope, lingering on the messy letters that read my name. In the past I used to complain about how sloppily you wrote and you would either laugh it off, or roll your eyes and tell me that I couldn't expect everyone to have my impeccable handwriting. I would get annoyed at you, but you were always able to make me completely forget about all of our arguments the moment you started kissing me.

Now I find myself feeling grateful that you never took any of my advice and didn't change your handwriting. It was so Naruto that each time I read the letter anew my eyes glazed over at the potent feeling of your presence.

I let out a breathy puff of air that I didn't realize I was holding, and with tremulous hands unfold the five sheets of paper that make up your final words to me.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I know that I probably will no longer be around by the time you read this, so let me start out by saying that I'm sorry. _

_I'm sorry that I never told you about my condition and that you have to face my death without any previous warning. I know that you resent me for it but I had made a decision when I found out for the first time, and I have to stick to it. It was so hard and the amount of times I almost cracked and told you are countless. But I didn't want you to be present when I died because I know it would've torn you apart._

_About a year ago, I was having a normal check-up with the Granny when she told me I had a natural disease that targeted my chakra network. It's fatal, and not even her medical ninjutsu can stop it. She told me the best she could do was slow it down a little, but that was it._

_At first I was so scared that I panicked on the spot and it took ten Anbu just to restrain me from lashing out at her. I calmed down eventually though, and sat down to have a long talk with Tsunade. _

_In the end I decided that I wanted to have Kurama extracted from me and given to someone else before the disease can take both of our lives. It's better for the protection of the village and the Great Nations. Plus, he and I have become friends now, and I don't want him to die even though he protested against it. They're giving him to Kakashi-sensei, whom both Granny and I decided was the best candidate for the job given his skill and experience._

_These days I find myself staring out of a lot of windows and just thinking about what's going to happen to you when I finally die. Sometimes I completely break down in public places and have to find a bathroom or something to hide in while I cry. I know you'll probably think I'm being an emotional little girl right now, but when I think that you'll live miserably or even do something drastic like take your own life, I can't stand the pain. It makes me feel so bitter because after all the good that I've done I still end up having to die in such a horrible way. And you have to deal with losing yet another person that you loved in your life. I can't imagine how that feels, but I want you to know that even in death, I still love you and I will always be watching out for you. _

_Then other times I like to be my optimistic self and think that since you'll have Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei and all of our other friends there to help you through this, you'll eventually be able to move on. _

_But my biggest fear of all is that when I do die, you'll forget all about me and return to how you were before. It's part of the reason why I'm writing this right now, to be honest. The more logical part of my brain knows that you won't, but you'd be the first person to agree that sometimes minds enjoy thoroughly fucking us over until we're thinking all sorts of crazy things._

_Anyway, I don't think I should keep talking about grim stuff like that. I want you to know how I feel about everything, and writing it down is the best thing I can do other than tell you in person, but you know I can't do that. _

_You know how I forced you to come with me to a bunch of fun places and events In the past year? Well that was just me trying to create more happy memories for you to have about me. And I wanted to spend my last few months of living with you more than anyone else._

_I've always liked going to festivals with you because we have so much fun winning at all the games and taking turns giving each other stuffed animals. I remember one time, we were fighting because of all the space those things were taking up, and somehow we'd ended up screwing on a bed of stuffed animals. _

_Actually, we had sex in so many weird places that I lost count after that time. Of course, our first time together was the most amazing because we were both virgins at the time. Now thanks to you, I'm as far away from being a virgin as a cow is to being a whale._

_And also thanks to you, I have someone to call family now. I was so happy when I finally convinced you to come back to the village with me after defeating Madara, and even more so when you told me it was because you loved me. _

_You weren't really convinced I returned those feelings at first because you thought I still liked Sakura-chan and wasn't even interested in guys in the first place. You were right, about the not being into dudes part anyway. But you were really just the exception for me. Don't take this the wrong way, but I hardly thought of you as a man. It's because of your appearance, ya know? That silky smooth raven hair and creamy pale skin that I love touching and kissing. It's almost feminine in a way. _

_This might sound a little creepy, but I've spent the last six months staying up until ungodly hours just watching you sleep. I want to remember every crevice that makes up your body; every dip and curve that is your face. That way when Kurama is being extracted from me I can have a perfect image of you in my head, and I can die with a smile on my face._

_I think what I'll miss the most about you is the way you've always treated me. Even when we fell in love and moved in with each other, nothing ever changed about the way you spoke and acted around me. All of the things about you I had fallen in love with were still there. You treat me like an equal, and you have zero stipulations about starting a fight with me. People would think that our relationship wouldn't last for a second because of how often our personalities clash, but I think it's what actually strengthens it and keeps it passionate and exciting. I know you probably think the same thing because judging from your cold and uninterested attitude around everybody else, you like our dynamic a lot more._

_I can't get bored whenever I'm around you, and our sparring matches have always been the best. Every time one of us wins a match, the other wins the next round, and we have this never-ending cycle of always trying to one-up each other. Sure, we tend to get pissed at each other a lot more than normal couples do, but that's just the way I like it teme. _

_And there's nothing better than cuddling up beside you on the couch and having those rare exchanges of feelings and thoughts with each other. It's the reason why I trust you more than any other person. You understand the pain of not having your parents with you to guide you along every hardship that comes about. And I understand just what the death of a loved one can do to a person. _

_However, we don't understand each other on the concept of food. I believe and I know that ramen is the holy grail of all sustenance, but you've never liked it and always complain when I make it. Maybe now you've found the will to actually try it for once and find out how delicious it is. All you ever eat is vegetables and every plain food under the sun. In particular tomatoes, which is why I believe someone messed with your taste buds when you were little._

_It feels really good to be able to fight alongside you once again. We were always a good duo when we set our minds to it, and if we're together on a mission or a battlefield or really anywhere, our opponents can be sure as hell they'll get their asses handed to them._

_My only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time with you in the village, and I would've really liked to be able to grow into an old man with you and lead the Leaf Village as Hokage. There is just so much in life that I feel like I missed out on._

_But in the end I lived good one all the same. I became the village hero just like I'd always dreamed, and even found my soul mate by the age of sixteen. I have so many loyal friends and I was able to bring the Five Great Nations together in peace and harmony. _

_I've had so many accomplishments in my twenty years of living, but my biggest one has been attaining your love._

_I love you so much that if I tried to explain it to you I'd be dead before I got to finish. _

_So instead, I'm going to give you my final wish as the person you love. _

_Please don't try to kill yourself when I'm gone. There will be too many people that are going to miss you, and Konoha needs you to protect it because I will no longer be able to do that myself. _

_And I will never forgive you if you do. _

_Please. Don't even think about it teme. _

_Like I said earlier, I will always love you and care for you. _

_After all, you're my teme and I'm your dobe. I just hope that I'll be able to hear you call me that again one final time before I die._

_Take care of yourself Sasuke, and I want you to go to sleep every night and remember that I will always be there in spirit, taking care of you from wherever I go in the afterlife._

_Love,_

_Your dobe_

A single tear drips down onto the paper.

At some point during my reading I had crawled into bed and was now sitting upright, my back resting on the wall behind me.

I always cry whenever I read your letter, but it is always just a single, silent tear that slides down my cheek and onto the last piece of paper that you touched.

This one marked the 1,095th day since your death.

* * *

_Thank you to everyone that read and enjoyed this one-shot. Most of you are probably thinking that 1,095 is an awfully specific number, but it actually just means that exactly three years had passed since Naruto's death. In other words, Sasuke was mourning the third anniversary of Naruto's passing away._

_I surprised myself because during several points in the story I found that I was actually tearing up as I typed, but I hope I didn't torment you guys too much. It would be great if you could tell me how you felt about this story, so don't be shy and drop a review! _

_Also, depending on the feedback I get and how much you guys want it, I'm considering adding a chapter from the past in Naruto's POV and turning this into a two-shot. _

_Much love for all of you!_

_-_MB


	2. Chapter 2

It is early morning when I wake up beside him.

Sasuke's face is peaceful along with the gentle rise and fall of his chest, flawlessness prominent even in his sleep. I've had a lot of time to stare at him these last few months, but I'd never really given myself the chance to acknowledge that the time when I would no longer be able to do so would eventually have to come. Today is the day I had agreed on with Lady Tsunade to have Kurama extracted from me and given to Kakashi-sensei.

I had always thought that when this day finally came I would be feeling a lot more unaccepting of my fate, but all I can manage to muster at the moment is a distant feeling of numbness that has begun to settle in my bones. I momentarily think that maybe I have already subconsciously come to terms with my imminent death; but I immediately realize that's not the case when Sasuke begins to shift in his sleep a little, the rustling of blankets breaking the ominous silence. I'm okay with sacrificing myself earlier than I should be for both Kurama and the village's sakes, but my heart can't help but clench painfully every time I think about what it will do to Sasuke. Sasuke, the person I have come to love more than anyone else in my life.

_Hedoesn'tdeservethis_, and I know it's true as soon as I think it.

Sasuke may have had a dark and bloody past before he came back with me to the village, but any traces of that lost boy have long since been expunged. He's much more like how he used to be before Orochimaru came along, although, a little more expressive about his feelings now (well at least when I'm the only one around). And he's kind. For the most part. He actually helps people out sometimes, and I can't help but smile goofily whenever I witness it. But that old, locked away pain of losing his entire family and clan is still somewhere in there, even if it doesn't affect him consciously anymore. And I fear that when he finds out about my death it will only serve to resurface and add on to that unbearable emotional distress.

But most of all, I fear for his life. What he might resort to when he really loses every person he'd ever been close to.

I take a sharp intake of breath and shake my head a little, forcing myself out of those melancholiac thoughts when I remember that I'm supposed to try and get the most out of this last day with my soul mate.

With that constant reminder now in the front of my mind, I sit up from the position I had been in and wrest the covers off of both mine and Sasuke's bodies only to find that we're both still naked from the previous night. All grim thoughts about death aside, I really have a lovely view of the Uchiha's ass from my spot beside him. And that triggers even more thoughts of what happened last night, a ghost of a shudder running through me as I remember the desperate touches and flurried tongues lapping against exposed skin. I can't recall the last time we had such mind-blowing sex; and I am pretty sure Sasuke and I set the world record for most consecutive orgasms in one night.

Sadly though, the moment of staring didn't last when my lover finally began to wake up in the absence of comforting warmth. I smirk to myself when his ass muscles flex as he stretches out his legs, eyes still closed and body movement sluggish.

"Dobe, where the hell are the blankets?" he almost growls when he reaches out only to find my thigh instead of a sheet, one eye cracking open very slightly and revealing a hazy black orb.

"On the floor. It's time to get up teme, don't be a lazy ass," I say in a playful tone, smiling widely as both his eyes flash open to glower at me viciously. Sasuke has never been much of a morning person, and that fact hasn't changed since we were kids in Team 7 going on missions together.

"Have I ever told you how much I despise you?" Sasuke asks irascibly, clamping the fingers that he hadn't removed from my thigh down painfully, causing me to bite back what would've been an embarrassing yelp of pain.

"A countless amount of times, and possibly in quite a few different languages too," I say, completely unfazed by his acrimonious words. I wasn't lying either. Sure, in the past before the end of the war Sasuke had said he hated me to my face quite candidly, but nowadays it had sort of become a way for him to vent at me without wasting his energy on a strenuous argument.

He glares at me with an attempt to look intimidating that fails the second he realizes I'm sitting in front of him stark naked.

"So fucking my brains out repeatedly last night wasn't enough for you?" he asks with a raised eyebrow, not at all seeming embarrassed or ashamed at the blatant reminder.

"What! Of course it was!.. I mean, no... Ugh stop being such a pervert Sasuke! I was just trying to wake your lazy ass up!" I say indignantly, face gradually turning bright red with every passing second.

"Actually, it's more sore than anything else," he responds with a smirk, clearly enjoying my flustered reaction to his question.

"You're such an asshole!"

"If you say so, but I don't recall hearing any complaints about it while you ravished-"

"Shut up already! Who the hell talks about things like that so casually anyway?" I cut in before Sasuke can continue, swatting his arm away from my leg and making to get off of the bed, only for him to sit up and obstruct my path.

"Calm down dobe, you know I was just messing with you. No need to get bitchy about it," he says, face suddenly turning serious as his warm, pale hands glide across my stomach in a light embrace. The touch immediately mollifies me, completely wiping away the slight mortification and leaving a feeling of tranquility that only ever comes when I'm with Sasuke.

Still, my dogged mind refuses let him get away with the provocation, and I say,"You know, for someone who is supposed to have gone through this amazing transformation, you really don't have much skill when it comes to apologizing."

I'm not sure because of our current position, but I can practically _feel_ Sasuke's smile as I talk. "Don't act like you actually want me to, you know perfectly that if I did start saying sorry like some pathetic over-bearing schoolgirl I wouldn't be myself anymore," he whispers as he moves his head directly above my shoulder, lips grazing the tip of my ear ever-so-slightly as he speaks.

Instead of answering I pull his face to mine and capture his lips in a kiss, keeping the movement slow and languid, reveling in Sasuke's taste. It doesn't last very long however when I lick at Sasuke's bottom lip and have my tongue practically sucked out of my throat by a very eager Uchiha.

After a few minutes of an intense make-out session I finally pull away in a sort of hazy state, smiling goofily when Sasuke's eyes flutter open to reveal a rare, loving look.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Yeah, sure, there have been plenty of times. Although most of the time it comes out as more of a moany-breathy sort of thing."

We stare at each other for a second before bursting into a fit of content laughter, a small moment of genuine, loving happiness momentarily causing me to forget about what I have to do later today.

After finally getting up and ready for the day, Sasuke sits down on the chair opposite of me at my diminutive kitchen table and asks me something that catches me a little off guard: "So, what new elaborate activity do you have in mind for us today?"

It takes me a while to respond since I'm so busy trying to recover from choking on a rather large mouthful of ramen. "Uhm, what?"

"Well I figured since you've been acting more strangely than usual these past few weeks and dragging me to all these different places, I thought I'd be better off knowing ahead of time," Sasuke elucidates when he comes to the conclusion that I am clearly confused.

"Oh. Ohhh," I say, relief washing over me. For a brief moment there I had actually begun to think that Sasuke knew what was really going on. Which is a terrifying thought to say the least. "Well actually, I kind of just wanted to walk around the village today and visit all our favorite places." My voice takes on a kind of timid tone then, and I can't really fathom as to why that is. Perhaps it's because it sort-of feels like I'm letting him down in some way for not wanting to do something a little more memorable on my last day alive, even though he couldn't possibly know that.

He quirks an eyebrow at me but then smiles slightly. "I think that's your best idea yet," Sasuke informs me, taking the last bite of the small piece of bread he was having for breakfast.

"What are you talking about, all of my ideas were amazing!"

* * *

I laugh loudly as we walk through the main streets of Konoha, arm slung carelessly across Sasuke's shoulders. Despite having tried to keep the secret from getting out at first, our relationship is old news in the village. Somehow, even though we thought it would've been a pretty controversial topic that would have had the village in an uproar, most people had taken the news pretty damn well. I guess people are a lot more open about things when the two particular people in the relationship just happen to be the saviors of the village.

We are currently in the middle of remembering old times, back when we were both only twelve and did some of the dumbest things possible. Well admittedly, I had been the one that usually did the stupid thing, and Sasuke always somehow got sucked into it.

"You should've seen the look on Kakashi-sensei's face when I finally admitted what we had done!" I say, my laughter getting a little out of control at the hilarious memory. Of course, out of the two of us I'm the one getting all the weird stares and the occasional pat on the back asking if I'm okay. Sasuke isn't outright laughing, but I can hear the small chuckles he's trying to hide behind his hand, thick amusement settling in his pitch-black eyes. Those eyes that can get even the most cunning shinobi lost inside of them.

So far we haven't really gone anywhere specific; we're barely heading to the Hokage carving on the side of the mountain and it still isn't yet noon. But when I look into Sasuke's eyes like this, all of the guilt that I've been battling with ever since I found out about my condition comes back to slap me across the face. Sasuke looks so happy now, I would have never thought that our relationship could change him so much for the better, not even when we had walked back to the village together hand-in-hand that first night after winning the war. And now because of me, that beautiful look of joy is going to be erased from his ebony eyes forever.

Sasuke has never been one to recover from emotional pain so easily, and this time I'm not going to be there to save him. I'm going to force him to feel so much pain and anguish with my death, all because I had been so insistent on bringing him back to Konoha. Maybe if he hadn't listened, maybe if I hadn't been so persistent, then he would've had a chance to finally be at peace. Perhaps that would've meant killing him along with myself, but honestly right now that sounds so much better than having to die alone, or even worse, having to _live_ alone.

"Is something wrong Naruto? You got so serious all of a sudden." Sasuke's voice brought me out of my morose epiphany, my eyes refocusing as they quickly snap up to meet his once again.

"No! I mean, I was just thinking about the couple of years that we spent separated before you returned to the village. They weren't very happy times for me," I say a bit too quickly, eyes darting to the side as I speak. I hate having to lie to him, but there is just no way I can tell him what really has me so disturbed. Besides, it wasn't compete bullshit; I really _had_ been thinking about back then and how unpleasant it had been for the both of us.

"Hn. It wasn't exactly a picnic under the stars for me either," he says almost defensively, expression also sobering up.

I look at him quietly for a minute, eyes laced with concern. I don't want to dredge up any foul feelings right now, Sasuke will have enough on his shoulders later when he learns what has become of me.

"All of that's in the past now, thankfully. Now I get to annoy you as much as I please," I tease, trying to lighten up the suddenly darker mood. My brain is starting to become increasingly incompetent at carrying out my wishes, and if I don't stop worrying Sasuke soon he's going to start getting suspicious and then everything will have been for naught. He would never allow Tsunade to extract Kurama from me, and he would probably force me to come along with him in search of a cure that didn't exist if he somehow did find out.

"And I get to punch you as much as I want, dobe," Sasuke says as a come back, lightly pushing on my left shoulder.

I grin wryly at him and push back, initiating a little shoving contest that lasts until we're standing at the railing atop the hokage mountain. We pause in order to take a look at the gut-wrenching view of the entire leaf village. No matter how many times I come up here, I can never avoid the feeling of having my breath taken away by some unknown force at the marvelous sight. The only difference today is that a feeling of melancholy sweeps over me after the amazement passes, rendering me unable to wrench my eyes from the village as I gaze out into the horizon. This will be the last time I ever see the village like this.

"You know, until you forced me to come up here with you once, I had never actually come before. Not even when my parents and Itachi were still around. And since you were the one that I first saw this with, it gradually began to become my favorite place. Even after I defected from the village and left to train with Orochimaru, I would often find ways to sneak back up to this place and just stare out into the wind. It's strange, but whenever I did all my hate suddenly disintegrated and a strange sort of assuaged feeling came to replace it. I'm only now realizing that it was because your presence here was so strong, and the only way it could get stronger was if you were physically there."

I look at him silently until he finishes, face softening at the rare moment of sharing that Sasuke so often avoids like the plague. What's more, Sasuke almost never talks about how he had felt about me pre-war, never mind what he did whenever he was missing me. The irony is so potent that I almost burst into tears in the spot.

Instead I move myself closer to him until our fingertips touch and clasp his pale, slightly skinnier hand in mine. "I missed you a lot back then too."

* * *

The day had gone by much too quickly.

After spending about an hour or so on the carvings, Sasuke and I had revisited all of our favorite places in Konoha. The newly rebuilt Uchiha compound, the Hokage tower, the park bench where we had shared our first public kiss, Ichiraku's, and the list went on. But it all ended too soon, and now it's late afternoon as we amble back to my apartment with our hands still tightly clasped.

I unlock the door and allow Sasuke to get inside first, following after him a bit too closely and consequently getting tickled in the nose by the Uchiha's gravity-defying hair.

Once the door closes behind me he thankfully doesn't say anything and goes straight to the bathroom, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

A feeling of nervousness immediately implants itself in my throat, the effects suffocating. I have a plan all mapped up already in my mind, and now is definitely not the time to chicken out and decide to throw it all out the window. As much as my heart tries to deny it, this is the best thing to do, and I have to go through with it. Even though every passing moment tears away a new, more painful piece of my being.

Once Sasuke comes out of the bathroom, I'm going to ask him to go out and buy some stuff that we need, and the time that it takes him to come back should be just enough to get Kurama out of me and into Kakashi. The specific list that I have already written up for him to buy is a set of hard-to-find items that should take him a coupe of hours to find.

The only actual flaw in my plan is Sasuke himself. If he refuses to go out and buy them or makes me come with him instead, then the whole thing will completely backfire, so it's imperative that I put on a good act and lose the anxiety.

Still, I can't help the sharp intake of breath that whooshes into my lungs when the bathroom door opens and he walks back into the living room, which is where I'm currently standing with my arms taut and shoulders tense.

I try my best to sound casual and say,"Hey Sasuke, I just did some digging in the kitchen and earlier today in the bathroom, and I found a bunch of stuff missing that we really would do better with. I was hoping you could run out and buy them for me while I fix us something to eat." It takes all of my willpower not to grimace at that last statement. Even a tongueless idiot with no sense of smell knows that my cooking is nothing short of horrific.

Surprisingly though, that's not what has Sasuke frowning tartly at me. "Since when do you care about real food and personal hygiene?"

I blink at him once before donning my own frown, although I think it comes out looking more like a pout than a frown judging from Sasuke's slightly amused look. "Teme! I've always cared about personal hygiene!"

So much for a heart-wrenching goodbye.

He raises both eyebrows and puts his hands up in the air as if to prove his innocence. "No need to be ashamed, we all have our eccentricities, although you tend to have more than your fair share of them, I must admit."

My frown turns into a glare of impatience and I finally shout,"Can you just go and get this shit already!"

I regret yelling at him as soon as I'm finished though, my eyes faltering for a second before turning pleading. This just has to work, and I need him to just listen to me for once, for his sake.

"Hn. Next time try asking nicely and then maybe you'll avoid this whole dramatic scene," he says, the amusement gone from his eyes. I can tell he isn't mad though because he takes the piece of paper from my hand and heads for the door, saying,"You're such a dobe sometimes, dobe." And with that the door closes behind him and I get was is sure to be my final glimpse at Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend and the love of my life.

Just like that.

My eyes are suddenly overwhelmed with a plethora of tears, my whole body resonating with shudders at the sheer wave of emotion that simple statement brought on.

I sink down into the couch and bawl without restraint, releasing all of the pent-up anguish that I have been feeling throughout the day. I don't even bother trying to wipe away anything because it immediately gets replaced by a new oncoming of salty tears.

In my other hand, I clutch onto the envelope that holds my final words to him.

I am not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I got to hear him call me 'dobe' in the last sentence he will ever speak to me again, just like I'd been hoping for the last several months.

Except he'd said it twice.

* * *

When I get back to the apartment about two hours later, I notice two erratic things: Naruto isn't home, and there's an envelope on the kitchen table with my name written on it in his handwriting.

I frown in confusion before setting down the grocery bag containing the items from Naruto's list and snatching up the envelope. I open it up careful to find five pieces of paper inside, each one containing words on both the front and the back. I pull out a wooden chair and begin reading, now more confused than ever.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I know that I will probably no longer be around when you read this, so let me start out by saying that I'm sorry..._

* * *

I stare at the last page of Naruto's letter feeling completely hollow and distant. For ten minutes I can do nothing but stare at the messy words, vision blurry with the imminent threat of tears.

Then the rage, betrayal, sadness, and most of all, completely, and utterly maddening pain settle into my chest.

All at once a harsh scream escapes my throat as I decimate the table in front of me into a million tiny splinters, the debris flying in every direction of the apartment. I practically rip the door off its hinges as I blindly tear outside, vehemently searching for any sign of the familiar chakra signature.

It takes a minute because Naruto is trying to suppress it, but when I finally zero in on it I start running faster than I ever have in all my life, the only thought in my mind as I sprint across the village's rooftops being: _he's still alive, he's still outthere_.

It takes me all of five minutes to get to the Hokage tower, still feeling Naruto's faint presence as reassurance. Luckily the Hokage had put all of her faith into Naruto and allowed him to handle this all on his own, which, knowing him, had been a very careless move in her part.

There are no Anbu guarding the entrance, and I don't even bother to try and open the door; I just crash inside and continue running at lightning speed. I'm almost there, I can feel Naruto's presence a lot more easily now. But in my ruined state I hadn't bothered to suppress my chakra, and just as I near the door I know he'll be behind, a group of approximately ten ninja appear before me, obstructing my path.

I skid to a stop before I can run into any of them, a feral glint in my eye as I take a fighting stance without blinking once. I don't care if I have to kill each and every one of them; I have to get to Naruto before he can get himself killed.

Among the ten ninja I recognize Kakashi, his eyes pleading with me to stay where I am. Then an entirely new feeling of betrayal washes over me. How the hell could he expect me to just sit around while Naruto's life is being ended so prematurely? Of all the people that could've been here to stop me, it had to be the one person that I had previously thought understood our relationship better than anyone else because he was our teacher.

"Sasuke, I know what you're thinking right now, but you have to understand that Naruto made this decision on his own; this is what he thought would be best for everyone. Please don't make me do anything that I'm going to regret," Kakashi says evenly, that pleading look never once leaving his gaze.

None of his words were getting though to me though; all I can think about is the fact that I am wasting precious time right now when Naruto can be dead at any given moment.

I launch myself in the direction of the door and almost make it to the handle when someone swipes my legs out from under me, knocking me to the ground and causing me to land roughly on my knees. I ignore the pain and continue to reach out; but I know it's over when several arms wrap themselves around my arms, neck, and torso, holding me back from the only reason I have to live.

"No! Let me go, let me save him! Naruto!" I roar as I struggle with an amount of strength I didn't known I possessed, pulling my body away from the arms that were trying to pinion me. But no matter how hard I struggle, the arms won't let up, and after a couple of minutes I feel Naruto's chakra completely diminish from the other side of the door.

And once it's gone, it feels like it's taken my soul along with it. I can't stop the painful tears that begin streaming down my cheeks, pooling together on the ground beneath me as they leave my face. They finally let go of me then; but I'm not struggling anymore. When they're no longer holding my body up I slump over like a sack of dead weight, my head bowing and my hands desperately clinging onto the fabric of my pants as I cry even harder than when I found my entire clan murdered when I was just a child.

The last thing I remember before I pass out Naruto's voice in my mind reminding me to stay alive.

* * *

_Wow, a lot more went on in this final installment than I had previously intended. But what can I say, I love my angst. I think a lot of you will appreciate getting to know Naruto's feelings during all of this, and your thoughts and views will be greatly appreciated if you review. I hadn't really been sure if I was indeed going to make this story into a two-shot, but in the end inspiration hit me like a rocket and I decided to just go for it. _

_A special thanks to everyone that came back to this story to read the final chapter, I am so happy that I was able to make you guys enjoy this._


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